coach beard

Beard Coach : Coach Beard

Wow. We have entered some bizarro world of reversal and deception. Coach Beard? Beard Coach? WTF is going on?! I was minding my own business Googling myself on a weeknight (like we ALL do). Actually, a kid that I teach in my real life job mentioned seeing my beard on someone’s tumblr, so I was trying to figure out what was up with that. Because my tumblr presence is limited to my alter-ego as a stock trading cat. No beards whatsoever. […]

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Screen Shot 2016-01-16 at 11.46.57 PM

Can’t Grow a Beard? Get A Beard Transplant

As beard coach, I receive many emails from people around the world lamenting that they can’t grow the beard they’ve always longed for. Maybe it’s too sparse, or it doesn’t link up the way they hoped it would.  These are sad stories, believe me, but the saddest of all… the ones that wet my beard with tears of compassion… are from those who can hardly sprout a handful of hairs on their chins. You can imagine my joy when I […]

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hipster beard

Hipster Beards Dirtier Than Toilets?

C’mon, Man!!! What the follicle is this crap?! https://www.lebonbon.co.uk/lifestyle/not-sexy-hipster-beards-dirtier-toilets/ Number one reason you don’t need to listen to this: The site is called Le BonBon.  Pretty sure there aren’t too many beard experts on staff. Number two reason: They didn’t even link to the “study” they cited as basis for the article.  About 1.5 seconds of Google searching turned up this article from the Daily Mail (a scientific powerhouse).  Again, no “study” linked.  Just some speculation from some beard-hatin’ lady. […]

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Brigham Young c.1870

Just Let Them Grow!

Bearded Brethren – Our collective voice is needed!  The time has come for beard discrimination – Beardscrimination – to end!  My man Shane is working from his deep-seated beliefs that the hairs on a man’s face are not an indicator of his trustworthiness or his academic prowess. Brigham Young University has long held the beard in contempt for unknown reasons.  I even wrote about this ridiculousness in my Beard Manifesto (download here) waaaaaaay back in the year 2009. You can […]

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beard cupcakes

Happy Birthday, Beard!

Happy birthday to you – Happy birthday to you – Happy biiiiiirthday, dear Beard.  Happy birthday to you! Beard, you’re ten years old today!  Ten years old!  You’re no longer a small child beard, but you haven’t yet gotten to the strange pre-teen stage where angst and drama could begin to burst forth at any moment.  Nope, you’re comfortable with who you are and you know what you like. You like staying pretty long, but not epic length.  Just long […]

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