You would think that a guy that runs a website called The Beard Coach would be all for super long beards for everyone, wouldn’t you?  You would.  But you would be wrong.

Instead, my philosophy is that every guy should grow the perfect beard… for him.  I actually just finished an experiment in growing my beard out to the longest length that it’s ever been.  Here’s a picture from around Christmas, just before I trimmed my beard back a bit.

It was a pretty solid beard.  I definitely got compliments from other bearded guys on it.  But I noticed that as the beard grew longer and longer, the compliments started only to come from other bearded guys.  By the time this photo was snapped, the stream of admiring ladies and non-bearded men had dried up.  As a man whose lofty goal is to see a beard on nearly every male human face, I couldn’t allow myself and my beard to be favorable only to the bearded.  I’d be preaching to the choir, as they say.

In addition to the fact that my longer beard was hindering my job as beard ambassador, surprisingly, it didn’t feel quite right.  I didn’t feel like me.  Like all bearded men, I’m not one to closely follow every move of the herd.  I like that my beard sets me apart as a self-reliant free thinker.  But to grow a beard out to astounding lengths takes a person who is willing to completely swim upstream, and I tend just to cut across the stream every now and then.  That translates, for me, into a nice thick beard – too long for a clipper trim, but not wizard length.  I’ll let the religious sages, the bikers, and other fully counter-culture men have the glory of the extremely long beard.  I’m just not the man for it.  And that’s okay with me.

Maybe your perfect beard is easily handled by electric clippers.  Maybe you won’t feel right until your beard hits your knees.  Beard growth and self-knowledge go hand-in-hand.  To grow a great beard, you have to follow the ancient Greek saying, “Know thyself.”  So, gentlemen, do some deep soul searching.  Figure out just what type of man you are inside.  Then let the beard grow on the outside.

Happy 2011!

It’s time for New Year’s resolutions, people.  Maybe you’d like to be less fat.  Maybe you’d like to be more fat.  Maybe you need to give up the drinking.  Maybe you need to read more historical fiction.  Whatever.  Frankly, I don’t really care what resolutions you have made up to this point.  All I care about is that you tack one more resolution on to your list.

Grow the most epic beard of your life.

All the other resolutions may fall by the wayside, but you must stay true to this goal.  Like anyone who undertakes a great challenge, you’ll need support.  People trying to get in shape may have a trainer.  People trying to lose weight can find support in family and friends.  When you’re trying to grow a beard, a source of support may not be as readily available.  Sadly, many of your friends and family may even attempt to discourage you and try to derail the beard train.

But don’t despair.  You have the Beard Coach.

The very first thing you need to do is to download and read (or re-read) the Beard Manifesto.  It’s probably the greatest free e-book on the Internet, and it has inspired a great many men to strive for their greatest beard ever

And that’s truly the goal… to grow your best beard.  I certainly don’t claim to have the best beard in the world.  But I do have the best beard that I can grow.

It doesn’t even have to be a full beard.  If you can’t connect your moustache to your beard, then so be it!  Keep them separate.  It’ll look better than you think.  If your cheeks grow out all patchy, then wear a chinstrap or a circle beard.  The point is to join us, the gentlemen of the bearded brotherhood… in whatever way you can.  2011 is your beard year.  Seize it!

Read the Beardifesto. Email it to your sad, smooth-cheeked friends.  And, if you or your friends end up needing extra support growing your first real beard, use the form on this page to sign up for my email coaching course.  I’d never sell another bearded man’s info, so sign up with confidence.  I’ll make sure growing a beard is the one New Year’s resolution you actually keep!

The Beard Coach’s Holiday Beard Song – Download the MP3

Happy Holidays, dear Beard Coach friends! I wrote this song last Christmas as a gift to you, my dear bearded brothers… and it is indeed the gift that keeps on giving.  Please click the link above for a heart-warming (and face-warming) song to sing around the spinet this year!

“Jingle Beard”
Dashing through the snow
Your face gets really cold
But don’t buy a scarf
The best warmth isn’t sold
Just put your razor down
Let your face do its thing
And soon you’ll have a natural way
To tame that icy sting

Grow a beard
Grow a beard
Winter’s finally here
You’re just six weeks
From warmer cheeks
And that deserves a cheer… Hey!
Grow a beard
Grow a beard
Winter’s finally here
You’re just six weeks
From warmer cheeks
And a more hirsute New Year!

You’ve made your Christmas list
Of things you’d like to own
But you know deep inside
Your best gift is grown
Just take yourself a look
At jolly old Saint Nick
He’s always got a smile
Because his beard is nice and thick

Grow a beard
Grow a beard
Winter’s finally here
You’re just six weeks
From warmer cheeks
And that deserves a cheer… Hey!
Grow a beard
Grow a beard
Winter’s finally here
You’re just six weeks
From warmer cheeks
And a more hirsute New Year!

A ghastly headline for a ghastly tale.  Unbelievable but true, the man in the video you are about to watch was indeed forced to eat his own beard.  In an apparent riding lawnmower deal gone wrong, a couple of drunk country fellers cut off this guy’s beard and made him eat it at knife and/or gun point.

Friends, this gut-wrenching story of heartache comes from none other than my home state that I love so much, Kentucky.  We may not all be beard-eatin’, lawnmower-sellin’ giants, but this story is a good example to others just how crazy my home state is and why you just have to love its crazy characters.

(If you can’t understand this guy, let me know and I’ll translate a transcription.  I still speak the language pretty well.)