Today, I’m proud to present a guest post on bearded metal artists by Beard Coach reader Michael Bashford.  If you would like to contribute an article to the Beard Coach, click the contact link above and let me know. – Coach Adam

My name is Michael, and I am a beard enthusiast from London, England.  I am also a heavy metal music fan. I recently came across Beardcoach.com and Coach Adam on You Tube and read the Beardifesto.  I sent him a message, and he asked me to write a guest post based on beards in metal music. So here is my top ten. Should any metal fans stumble across this (or maybe someone newly discovering metal) note that it is a representation of my favourite beards and not bands.

10. Jonathan Davis (Korn)

What I like with this facial hair is the fact that he has gone for the absolute minimum possible. Jonathan Davis is the vocalist for the band Korn who are often described as the pioneers of what is known as the Nu-metal genre.

9. Adam Dutkiewicz (Killswitch Engage, Times of Grace)

Ok, so maybe this isn’t technically a BEARD but it is facial hair, and those are some epic sideburns he’s sporting! Adam is a guitar player in the bands Killswitch Engage (KSE) and Times of Grace. Originally he was the KSE drummer but moved to guitar when they wrote the album Alive or Just Breathing which featured a two guitar sound, so they recruited a new drummer. KSE are referred to as the pioneers of the Metalcore genre. Times of Grace were formed by Adam and the original KSE vocalist Jesse Leach (also featured on the list).

8. Lemmy (Motörhead)

I like this beard as it’s a good example of the handlebar style. This band and man needs no introduction really, everyone knows the classic Ace of Spades! (Unless you’re really young or you’ve been living under a rock, which would probably suggest you’re not reading this anyway. I myself have never come across a wireless rock or a bearded toddler). Motörhead are a British heavy metal band formed in 1975, although Lemmy does not like this label. He classes Motörhead as a rock and roll band, usually opening live shows with the line “We are Motörhead. We play rock and roll.”

7. Jon Howard (Threat Signal, Arkaea)

The thing I love about this style is it’s just that! Stylish! This man has talent and style seeping from every pore. He is Threat Signal and Arkaea’s vocalist. I could write a whole essay on the reason why I love Threat Signal and Arkaea for that matter. Threat Signal is a Canadian metal band probably best described as a melodic death/thrash metal band. They started their career with the song Rational Eyes which they wrote before they were even a fully formed band and put it on a website known as Garageband.com and the rest is history. Jon Howard and bassist Pat Kavanagh later created Arkaea along with Fear Factory members Raymond Herrera and Christian Olde Wolbers

6. Jesse Leach (KSE, The Empire Shall Fall, Times of Grace)

I love Jesse’s beard because of its length and shape. Jesse was the original vocalist for KSE before he left in 2002 and was replaced by Howard Jones. Jesse’s lyrics are very strong in the sense that he says that we should be honest and question and challenge those around us who might try to cause us harm or create chaos.

5. Kerry King (Slayer)

Kerry king is metal personified! He is one of the guitarists for the thrash metal band Slayer. Although thrash was made popular by the band Metallica, Slayer are top of their class. I like this beard as its the classic goatee style but styled in a way you would expect from a character in a fantasy novel! The bands are known for their lyrics of war, death, and against religion.

4. Shavo Odadjian (System of a Down)

Although similar to the style of number five, he has gone for a longer, thinner style. He is the bass player and backing vocalist for System of a Down (SOAD). SOAD’s early work feels very experimental and unique. A lot of their lyrics are based around the corruption of governments and how we should stand against them and question them.

3. Dimebag Darrell (Pantera, Damageplan)

This style is a very unique, almost demonic style; I like it because of its originality. Two-tone beard that he’s clearly used a hairstyle product on. Dimebag is one of the most influential guitarists of his time. He was famously known for recording his guitars without a metronome or ‘click-track’. After Pantera split he then went on to form Damageplan with his drummer brother Vinnie Paul (also in Pantera). Sadly, a crazed Pantera fan who blamed Dimebag for Pantera’s splitting up jumped on stage at a Damageplan show and murdered Dimebag and other arena staff members (R.I.P). Pantera is considered one of metal’s greatest and most influential bands.

2. Johan Hegg (Amon Amarth)

EPIC. VIKING. BEARD! Enough said! Johan is the vocalist for Amon Amarth. Amon Amarth are often described as a Viking metal band but this isn’t accurate; they are a melodic death metal band with Viking lyrical content (bands are defined by their sound not their lyrical content). This, coupled with the fact that they have a really epic atmospheric sound, makes them unique.

1. Chad Gray (Mudvayne, Hell Yeah)

And so we reach number 1 in the top ten beards in metal. This is my number 1 because it is so unique, outlandish and very…… well, blue. Chad is the vocalist for both Mudvayne and Hell Yeah and occasionally performs with gothic styled makeup such as this. He also has an amazing vocal range from clean singing to low growling vocals.

So that concludes my top ten beards in metal music. Before I go I’d just like to show you one more beard.

This is me (right) at a gig where I met Jon Howard (#7 on the list) when his band Threat Signal were playing in London and some friends and I went to see them.

Thanks for reading,

Michael Bashford

So I was sitting at a stop light this evening with my lovely pregnant wife in the car with me.  We were on the way home from sharing dinner with friends who had also bequeathed lots of great baby gear to us.  We were feeling great, having a little car snuggle and thinking about our baby on the way.

Suddenly I spot a large white SUV, possibly a GMC Yukon, laden with what appeared to be college-aged young women (not uncommon in Ann Arbor, a college town).  They were turning left from a main road onto the road where we were first in line to turn left onto the main road.  If you can picture that particular vehicular arrangement (USA driving rules, for my British and former British readers), you’ll realize that Sorority Yukon passed mere inches from my front driver’s-side bumper .

As the truckload of ladies navigated the turn and started to accelerate past I heard two words .

NICE BEEEEEEARD!!!

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My wife and I looked at each other.  What just happened?  It was like a bomb went off or something.  Were they serious?  Was it all in jest?  Who could tell from such a instantaneous interaction?

“Damn right it’s a nice beard,” I replied to my wife.

“It’s my beard,” she replied as she kissed me on the cheek.

My mind is currently filled with two main thoughts on the matter.  Number one, could those girls really have respected a good beard?  I saw a music video today (which rarely happens now that I’m in my thirties) with some hip-hop guy rapping on some rooftop and another guy singing an emotional refrain and banging on a piano.  Pretty standard stuff except for the fact that Piano Guy had a great beard!  Maybe beards are okay to younger people now.  Maybe my beard really was respected.

My second thought is… damn I hope my new daughter doesn’t end up riding around in some gargantuan truck with some other hot chicks (probably drunk on a Wednesday at 8 p.m.) disrespecting the robust beards of grown-ass men enjoying a car snuggle with their pregnant wives!  I’ll have to give her a talk about that in about 18 years…

Welcome to the first in what I plan to be a continuing series of posts on Beard Music.  What is Beard Music, you ask?  It’s hard to define, much like love or truth, ever changing its form – yet always remaining pleasing.  It slices across numerous traditional genres like a furry blade of greatness.

I’ve never written music reviews before, so I’m pretty lost as to how to describe an album to you.  Although I’m a musician, I find it hard to speak about “production values” and “lyricism.”  Instead, I’ll try to write a little vignette that gives what I think is roughly the same feeling as the album.  If all else fails, you can certainly listen to the samples below or even buy the album on my recommendation!

I’m kicking off the series with what might be my favorite album by one of my all time favorite artists.

Our Endless Numbered Days by Iron and Wine

Dark night out in the country where no streetlights mar the inky sky.  Crickets chirp loudly trying to crowd out the squealing cicadas to dominate this evening’s soundtrack.  Fireflies wink seductively from the soft grassy yard trying to coax you out of your nylon-strapped aluminum folding chair on the mossy brick patio behind the old farmhouse.  The veil of thick warm air is broken as you feel something cool and smooth tap your bare arm.  Look left to find your uncle passing you the nearly empty bottle of Jim Beam.  Take a swig and pass it on to Granddad to finish up.  Through the whiskey blur the three of you contemplate the cause of the fierce orange glow just past the tree line a couple hundred yards away.

Morning finds the white hand-stitched curtains waving good morning, aloft on the clean, grassy air of a new summer day.  Comforting warmth of your wife’s arm seeps into yours, and you can’t help but notice the way the quilt mounds up and over her belly.  Your hand ventures through the sheets to steal a rub of the taut skin surrounding that beautiful roundness, but the roughness of your calluses is enough to bring your love into the day with you.  Bleary eye contact and well-aimed kiss celebrate another day together.

If this doesn’t inspire you to grow a beard, something is wrong with you.

The World Beard and Moustache Championships were held in Trondheim, Norway two weekends ago.  I would have loved to attend, but number one, I had to work at my real job, and number two, getting to and staying in Norway is expensive!  I was thrilled to hear that Beard Team USA brought home six golds, one behind the overall winner Germany.  Now, it may not surprise you to hear it, but those Germans take their beard-growing very seriously.  In fact, they invented the WBMC, invented the categories, have hosted a great many of the competitions, and pretty much dominated the scene… until the last competition held in Anchorage, Alaska, in 2009.

The 2009 WBMC saw the Americans burst onto the scene with a whopping ten golds and the overall champion!  Home field advantage, maybe, but that rocked the beard competition scene something fierce!   We even topped the highly-competitive Full Natural category thanks to the eye-popping red beard of Jack Passion, whom I interviewed awhile back.

Our six golds this year broke down into three golds for beards/partial beards and three for moustaches.  Now, this being a beard-centric site, I’m the most excited about the beard victories.  Although I give a respectful tip of the hat to the dapper gents who won the moustache categories: Bruce Roe (Hungarian Moustache), Keith “Ghandi Jones” Haubrich (three-peat in the Freestyle Moustache), and Giovanni Dominice (Imperial Moustache).

Without further adieu, here are your beard winners this year!

John Myatt (Verdi Category) – Actually a silver medal winner, but I had to include that beard in this post.  I mean look at it!  So red!  The moustache… so curly!  This dude looks like some kind of leg-breaker from Gangs of New York.  John hails from the Northern Los Angles chapter of Beard Team USA.

Bill Mitchell (Partial Beard Freestyle) – Gold medal partial beard!  I’m not sweating the bald chin here.  The amazingness of the gray swirly sides more than make up for it.  I’ve noticed that gray beards do very well in competition.  If you’ve gone gray and never grown a beard, now is probably the time to start.  You may even find yourself competing in the 2013 championships!

Burke Kenny (Full Beard Styled Moustache) - That may be the longest moustache I’ve ever seen.  Burke is about to poke himself in the eyeballs with his own damn moustache!  Insane.  This beard was the 2007 category winner, but was overthrown in Anchorage.  Thank God this thing was restored to its rightful place among the mighty.

Rooty Lundvahl (Full Natural) – This picture comes to us from an alternate universe where Einstein had a giant beard.  Not really.  It’s actually Rooty (not Rudy, dammit) Lundvahl, the man who upset Jack Passion for the Full Natural title this year!  Like I said before, this is the hottest category at the WBMC, and the winner here really should be just as revered as the overall winner.  This is the award for those who can just let their beard do what it wants and use their talents to groom it into a thing of beauty.  No trimming, no styling.  Just pure unadulterated beard.  Congrats, Rooty!  U.S.A.!  U.S.A.!  U.S.A.!

So what beard could best Rooty’s white stallion for the overall title?

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BLAM!

There’s a damn elk in his beard!  Say what?!!!   o_O