Unfortunately I think the real reason is that I’ve gotten a bit burned out on writing about beards.

I’d been putting off checking my Beard Coach emails even though things have finally settled down a bit in my personal life.  I guess I just felt like I’d run out of beard wisdom…

But my attitude just changed now that I finally read some of the last six weeks’ emails.  There were so many “thank you” notes from guys who had read some articles here and had found the inspiration to grow the longest beard they’d ever grown.  They had sent me pictures, baring their soul and a their beard insecurities looking for validation from an expert.  All in vain.  Because I had turned my back on my own mission.  Maybe I need to re-read my own Beard Manifesto.  Maybe I need to realize that this place is more than just a chance to have some stuff I’ve written be read by some other dudes.

A hearty thanks to Adam, Mark, Phillipe, Joe, and all the others who took the time to ask me a question or express gratitude over my past six weeks of laziness.  You’ll get your reply emails soon, my brothers.  Thanks for waking me up from my summer hibernation.  You know, maybe it’s because I trim my beard shorter in the summer that led me to this lowly state.  Maybe I should heed my own advice and start growing and showing my beard’s full force no matter the temperature.

The Beard Coach is back, suckers.

Let me speculate a bit as to the reason why.  I have to say that the robustness of a man’s beard is inversely proportional to the amount of his mouth left unobscured.  By that I mean, the less of your lips we can see, the bigger your beard seems.  The thing is, the hair on your chin has nothing to do with this!  Thus many people will look at your hidden mouth and think, “Dang, that’s a big beard!”  When in actuality the cheek and chin hairs may be barely longer than an electric trimmer guard.  I

Here’s how dedicated I am to your beard dedication.  I had a nice long moustache to compliment my beard just moments earlier. But to illustrate my point, I set my electric clippers to a 6 and knocked the ’stache back, taking “before” and “after” pictures for your comparison.  As you can see from the pics below, the effect is most pronounced when the beard is viewed in profile; although, this could just be an attribute of my own beard and not a universal truth.  Keep in mind that I did not touch my beard at all between photos (although I could probably use a little tidying around the edges.)

BEFORE

AFTER

What do you think?  Can you see a difference?

(Time to start growing that sweet ’stache back…)

Isn’t sending newspaper clippings one of the best things moms do?  It lets you know that she’s thinking about you and also gives you the opportunity to learn a little something at the same time.  It makes me a bit sad to think that with the decline of the printed news, my wife may not be able to send our future children newspaper clippings.  A link in an email just isn’t the same, but I guess it’ll have to do.

Anyway, if you enjoy reading about the amazing beard contest that was held in my little hometown back in the 1960s, leave a thank you to my mom in the comment section.

(click for a super close-up view)

Name: Joey “Punjab” F.

First beard grown at age: Around 17

How long have you had your current beard? 2.5 months

Why do you wear a beard? Because the bearded look suits me.  And beards are awesome.

What do you like best about being bearded? I just like the look of it.  A guy with a beard looks better than a guy without.

Briefly tell your favorite beard-related story. In my younger days I can remember when I had my first really full beard I ventured out to a local store. There was an older man that approached me and proceeded to tell me one of the dirtiest/funniest jokes that I’d ever heard.  I can’t remember what the joke was now, but I remember wondering why he decided to tell me of all people. It must have been the beard.

What is your best advice for guys who are currently trying to grow their first beard? Don’t give up.  I know that sometimes it feels like it’s going nowhere, just hang in there.

Now anyone who has read my Beard Manifesto knows what I think of the winter beard.  And now so do the subscribers of Outside.  Because I wrote the editors and told them what’s up.  And guess what?  They recognized the wisdom and knew that it was worth sharing with their readers.

You’ll notice they chose not to cite me as the source (probably because they saw through my obvious efforts to sneak in free promotion for the site).  However, you’ll notice a certain original phrase I also used in The Manifesto.

So now, I present you with the first words from the Beard Coach ever published in a mainstream magazine.