(Note: This post is from Halloween 2009… check out this year’s bearded costume ideas here! Or check out the ideas from 2010!)

Let’s face it, bearded men, thinking up a great costume just isn’t as easy as it is for our non-bearded brethren.  Lots of hilarious celebrity ideas idea go out the window along with any current politician.  Masks are out… why hide that glorious beard you’ve worked so hard to grow and maintain?  As a result of my own personal frustrations, I’ve decided to create this list as a reference for future Halloweens.  In the brotherly spirit of the bearded community, I want to share it with all of you.

#1: Paul Bunyan

Items Needed:

• Work Boots
• Blue Jeans
• Buffalo Plaid Flannel Shirt
• Suspenders
• Wool ski cap
• Axe

This is a super easy one as most bearded guys have these items lying around anyway.  I know I do.  When I first thought of this idea, I was pretty excited until I looked in the mirror and realized I was already wearing the “costume” minus the suspenders, hat, and axe.
Note: Please don’t ask your wife to be Babe the Blue Ox.  Trust me on this one.

#2: Zeus/Socrates/Pythagoras

Items Needed:

• White Sheet
• Safety pins
• Sandals
• Cardboard lightning bolt if Zeus
• Cup of hemlock poison (fake!) if Socrates
• Cardboard right triangle if Pythagoras

Let’s hearken back to the glory days of beards… ancient Greece!  A sheet is not ideal toga material, but it will get the job done.  Just fold it so that it is only about 3 feet wide.  Then wrap the folded sheet around your waist 1.5 times, pin it together, and throw the rest over a shoulder.  Bring the material back down to the waist and pin it again.  Choose an accessory to make and get into character.  Smite people with your thunderbolt!  Pretend to poison thyself!  Teach people math!

#3: Gorton’s Fisherman

Items Needed:

• Yellow vinyl rain suit
• Sky blue turtleneck
• Hair gel
• Cornstarch

If you are okay giving Gorton’s some free advertising, this is another super easy costume.  Just wear whatever you want and wrap the scarf around your neck.  Put on the rain suit and you are good to go!  Now for the distinctive white beard.  If you have already attained a naturally white beard, you can ignore the following.  However, if you need a bit of help, just comb a small amount of hair gel into your beard and liberally dust it with cornstarch.  It would also be pretty great if you baked up a mess of fish sticks and gave them out to people instead of candy.

#4: Alan Garner – i.e. Zach Galifianakis’ character from The Hangover

Items Needed:

• This T-Shirt
• White Jeans
• Baby Bjorn
• Baby doll
• White baby ski cap
• Blue baby shirt

Finally, a hip pop-culture-reference costume for a bearded guy! Even if you haven’t seen The Hangover, if you can scrounge up all the above items, all you have to do if put them on and keep saying, “It would be so cool if I could breast-feed.”  People will love it!  No jokes, people are buying terrible fake beards to be this guy for Halloween.  Be glad you can one-up them with the real deal on your face.

#5: Fidel Castro

Items Needed:

• Green Army fatigues
• Castro Hat (of course!)
• Cigar

Lastly, another easy and recognizable costume for the bearded man.  To really pull this one off, you have to have a pretty big beard; because, honestly, love him or hate him, Fidel has always had a great one.  Beyond that, it’s just a matter of putting on the right clothes and carrying that ever-present cigar.  If you could somehow borrow a friend’s old rusty 1950’s Packard and drive it around blaring revolutionary rhetoric, that would be ideal.

There you have it, my bearded friends.  A good five year’s worth of costumes.  But there’s no reason to sit around to keep on brainstorming.  Help me expand the list even more by adding your own ideas in the comment section!

I posted a couple weeks ago about Dennis Haysbert, The Allstate Guy, appearing with a beard and how great I think that is.  I’ve been scouring the web looking for a clip from the commercial, but have yet to find one.  I did, however find a recent photo of him on the Raleigh Star’s site of his appearance at the Jimmy V Golf Classic, held in Raleigh, NC.

That, my friends, is a sweet gray beard.

And I’m not the only one digging it.  I did a quick Twitter search for “Allstate beard” and here are some comments that popped up.

KikiLu2: The Allstate guy has a beard now? I like.

NotQuiteBella: Ooh. I’m loving the Allstate guy’s sweet beard.

kriisco: The Allstate man grew a beard. It’s a good look.

Of course, there were the naysayers as well, but that’s just added evidence that this site and all the other sites out there promoting the beard in a positive light need to work harder. I’m obviously not going to promote their negative bearditudes here.

Several people were disoriented by the Allstate Beard…

ShiningRhino: When did the guy from the allstate commercials grow a beard?!?!

ShileeM: Why did the AllState guy grow a beard?

guitar_freak78: The allstate commercail guy grew a beard!?

However, the most common Twitter reaction to the Allstate Beard was not positive or negative… but simply to shout from the rafters about it.  Consider these:

DrCholes: The allstate insuarance guy grew a beard!!!!!!!

Pazzler: The allstate guy got a beard!

xdaveohx: WOAHH THE ALLSTATE GUY HAS A BEARD NOW!

Catiejay: The Allstate man has a beard!! O my!!

happyhalli: the allstate guy grew a beard!

shelbylynn29: OMG THE ALLSTATE GUY HAS A BEARD NOW! ….that comment didnt really merit CAPS…oops

Love it or not, the Allstate guy’s beard is making waves.  Let’s hope he still has it in the next commercial, and the next, and the next…

Lastly, I’ll leave you with the most hilarious tweet about the Allstate Guy’s beard that I ran across.

D_Beautifulone: Lol, the allstate dude has a beard now. He looks like he should be in a just for men commerical.

The Beard Coach: Thanks so much for taking the time to be here.  You are an icon.

Kenny Rogers’ Beard: Thank you for having me.  I really like what you’re doing with the website.

TBC: Wow, thanks.  That means a lot.  So let’s cut to the chase… I’ve been a fan since back in the early eighties.  The Gambler, Islands In The Stream… you’ve been there the whole time.  As far as I’m aware, you’ve always been white.  Is that true?

KRB: You know, that’s actually not true.  I was dark brown in my youth.  I’ve just been famous for a long time, and you’re a bit too young to remember the early days.

TBC: I guess that’s true.  But I scoured the Internet looking for a picture of you in a non-white state and I couldn’t find one.

KRB: Well I’ve been around a lot longer than the Internet.

TBC: That’s a good point, Kenny Rogers’ Beard.  Speaking of the Internet, what do you think of menwholooklikekennyrogers.com?

KRB: I think it’s great!  I like to log on every now and then and see who’s paying homage to me, the face I grow on, and my good friend Kenny Rogers’ Hairstyle.  I mean, it’s proof that we all have teamed up for years to create a classic look.

TBC: I wholeheartedly agree.  For years, you were part of a classic style that appealed to many men, but I’d like to bring up a tougher subject if that’s okay.

KRB: Go ahead.

TBC: Unfortunately, in recent years Kenny has undergone several obvious cosmetic surgeries and as a result, he has become the butt of many jokes.  He has even gone so far as to carve you into a goatee from your former full-bodied self.  What has this done to you emotionally?

KRB: (long silence) It’s tough, you know?  I mean, I thought we were looking pretty good, aging gracefully, and then, BAM, I’m under the knife and under the razor and frankly, it stinks.  It makes me feel so helpless.  Kenny and I were so tight for so long, and now it’s like I don’t even know him anymore.

TBC: So what do you do?

KRB: That’s the thing… there’s nothing I can do.  I mean, I’m a beard.

TBC: A beard makes a man look so powerful, but the beard itself is so powerless.  That’s some insight, my friend.  But let’s bring things back to the positive side.  You’re still out there performing.  People are still raging fans.  What’s in store for you?  Retirement soon?

KRB: I’m blessed to have been partnered with a legendary vocal artist, and we’ve achieved a level of success and recognition that most people and their beards never come close to achieving.  Performing is getting pretty stressful on me especially with the changes we just discussed.  But Kenny’s a workaholic.  I’d love to just kick back in the woods of East Texas and reflect, but I doubt I’ll be able to convince Kenny that he might enjoy that as well.  So I guess we’ll just keep on keeping on.

TBC: As a fan I have to admit that’s good to hear.  We’d hate for you to drop out of the spotlight.  Thanks again for sitting down with us today.  It’s been a real treat.

KRB: It’s been a pleasure.

TBC: Say hello to Kenny for me, if you would.

KRB: Of course.

I was watching tv the other day and I heard the familiar voice of the Allstate Guy (i.e. the president from the first season of 24) telling me something about insurance.

“Yeah, yeah, Allstate Guy, I’ve heard it all before.  I’m in good hands, blah blah blah.”

I was kind of zoning out or talking to my wife or something, not really paying attention. Then I glanced at the screen.

Holy cow, the Allstate Guy grew a beard!

This is great news.  It’s one more bearded face in front of America to help increase our comfort level with the beard.  Not only that, but this is a character who is perceived as trustworthy and full of good advice.  It’s good to see a bearded man who isn’t supposed to be a weirdo or some kind of slacker or something.

Congratulations, Allstate Guy, on growing out your beard.  I am now 23% more likely to switch to Allstate.

Check it out!  A bearded Ben Affleck.

Ben had to grow his beard out for his supporting role in the new movie Extract.  I usually don’t like the way this guy looks.  I wonder sometimes how he has gotten so famous as a heartthrob.  He has always just reminded me of a regular guy who happened to write a very successful movie with his best friend who also became a famous heartthrob actor.

However, I have to say that Ben wears a beard well.  It seems that many of his lady fans out there feel the same way.  In the comments for this post on some website called Just Jared , one girl even described his beard as “lickable.”  Pretty weird!

Personally, I have to say that having my beard licked would cause me to politely excuse myself from the lady’s embrace, use her bath towel to dry off, and leave through the bathroom window.  Beard licking would be like licking a wire-haired dachshund. Maybe some women like this.

Why would you lick this?