Can Your Beard Be Too Long? A Rebuttal

Mar 6th, 2011 by Coach Adam in Beard News

My post on January 20th about beard length was a controversial one, and I knew it at the time I wrote it.  Thus, I was not surprised to find a rebuttal in my inbox shortly after posting it.  In the spirit of healthy debate, I present a counter-argument in favor of extreme beard length, written by Kai Longbeard.

Can a beard be too long? The answer is NO. Each man’s face is preprogrammed by his DNA for the perfect length beard, be it three inches or thirty feet. For those alpha males who can muster beards that measure in increments of feet, the trick is getting past the awkward stage, where the beard is no longer short or particularly long. At this stage it tends to look wild and scruffy  (between 2 and 6 inches). At this stage most men give up on their beards and kowtow to trimming or worse yet shave it off. Most lack the patience and/or the vision to see what magnificent beards await them should they allow their beards to grow to their fullest and longest potential.  Once a man has accrued some sizable length, on average two years of growth,  it is easy for him to continue his full natural beard to maximum length, a.k.a  terminal length.

As for Full Natural beards there are two distinctive types, the Free Spirit and the Rabbinical/Eastern Orthodox. Both are allowed to grow to terminal length without ever being cut or trimmed.

The Free Spirit is allowed to grow without guidance, cultivation or grooming. It is allowed to grow as big and as gnarly as one can get it. This style suggests a certain looseness, a laissez faire attitude towards life. This style has that certain beauty associated with the wildness of nature and is often associated with bikers and nature lovers.

The second type of Full Natural beard is the Rabbinical/Eastern Orthodox. The R/EO differs from the Free Spirit in that it is meticulously washed and carefully combed. Whereas the Free Spirit becomes entangled in the wind, The R/EO floats gossamer-like on the breeze. The R/EO is the most strokable beard and conveys an imposing image of sagacity. It is associated with clergy, dedicated scholars, and ascetics.

“Should a man allow himself he freedom to grow a full natural beard?”
Being biased towards long beards, my answer is yes. One can learn much from growing a very long beard. First and foremost is patience. One cannot grow a long beard in a moment of passion. It takes dedication, fortitude and time to grow a Full Natural beard. If one is patient one can gain an appreciation for all the subtle changes that a Full Natural beard goes through over a lifetime.

Growing a long beard, teaches one confidence. One cannot be shy with a Full Natural beard.  Long beard wearers stand out in a crowd. They are unique, dare I say, individualistic. As your beard progresses to impressive lengths you will be approached admiring and curious people. Occasionally you will have to stand up and defend your beard, but mostly you will receive compliments and questions.

Lastly, you will learn what it is that you are supposed to look like. Nature intended men to grow long beards. They would not continue to grow if we were not supposed to have them. Why spend time and money removing something that is going to grow back? Why fight against nature?  Become the true man you were intended to be and grow a full natural beard.

YOUR BEARD MY FRIEND IS WAY TOO LONG.
TO THAT I SAY, “I THINK YOU’RE WRONG.
EACH MAN IS GIVEN BY GOD’S GRACE
THE LENGTH THAT IS RIGHT FOR HIS FACE.
I GROW MY BEARD SO I CAN SEE
THE LENGTH GOD HAD IN MIND FOR ME.”

Read more of Longbeard’s poetry here.

9 Comments

  • I am growing the first beard of my life. I even wrote a blog about it. I will be the first Asian with a Beard. To be fair, I’m only half, but with salt and ppeper hair and beard. Please read my post and help me decide how long to grow it. It might be too thin or sparse to even do. I won’t give up just yet though.

  • julius bass jr.

    Never grown a long beard . But I.will try for two years and deide if I’m going to keep it or cut it

  • Life is much easier with a full natural. Besides, what man in his right mind wants to look like a women. All men should let their beards grow. Who cares if someone has a longer thicker beard. Your beard is you. Grow it, don’t mow it.

  • love long beards had mine down to the middle of my chest but shaved like an idiot i had it for 6 yrs it just wouldnt get any longer so ive been clean shaven for the last two years but its coming back now just gotta let it grow and grow, woman just love to touch it for some odd reason

  • Where does this urge to “further modern positive hirsitude” (as though there were some sort of “negative hirsitude”!!) come from? Let shavers shave, and let men grow their beards. The longer my beard gets, the less I care about what “the masses” think. Over half of them can’t grow a beard anyway, and of the remainder, the comments of those who are critical aren’t worthy of rational consideration.

    “Full out beardy goodness” has already arrived for those who grow their beards. I don’t care if anyone else grows theirs or not. Now, maybe you do care, but I trust that you will learn that it’s a waste of energy as you gain some experience with trying to change the culture.

    • I, for one, care whether more men grow beards or not. Otherwise, this website wouldn’t exist!

      You’re right that some men can’t or will never have the interest in growing a beard. However, this site is not for them. This site is for those men who have dreams of being bearded, but are hindered by a lack of motivation, struggles with itching, or trimming mishaps. The point is to help each individual achieve his goal of growing his best beard ever, not necessarily to increase the number of bearded men in the world (although if more men are successfully growing beards, that would be a natural consequence).

      I receive success stories via the contact link on this site quite often, indicating that the mission of this site is being accomplished. Men are fulfilling their dreams of growing a great beard. Thanks for contributing your opinion, although I respectfully disagree that it is a waste of my energy to help men become bearded.

  • “Can Your Beard Be Too Long?”

    Fundamentally: the only assessment that matters (in this) is the beard-owner’s.

    If ‘you’ wanna close-crop your beard: then have at it…it’s ‘your’ beard’.

    If ‘he’ wants to grow that sucker down to his knees (and he can): then he can have at it…it’s his beard.

    Frankly: any position other than ‘I will do with mine what I like, and you will do with yours what you like’ is indefensible.

    Every choice has consequences: the consequence of growing out that knee-length monster may be a degree of ’shunning’…so what?

    If the beard-owner is sturdy enough: he’ll tell the world to ‘get bent’ and go on his merry (hairy) way.

  • The rebuttal makes a good point. But I fear that, as unfortunate as it may be, our culture isn’t quite there yet. For those looking to further modern positive hirsutitude, it is still neccessary to appeal to the masses. Only when we reach a “critical mass” of beardedness can we take it to that level of full out beardy goodness. The ball is definitely rolling in the right direction, but we have a ways to grow.

    • How can we reach “Critical mass” if there are no trend setters? If we want “Full Out Beardy Goodness” it is up to each of us to grgw as much and as long a beard as we can and inspire others to do the same.We have the power to control culture and influence the masses. We can make a difference one beard at a time.